karthik lakshmanan: SMS Minnale

The next few weeks saw me completely addicted to my mobile phone. I took it everywhere I went. Literally everywhere. You usually have an entire lifetime to waste when you are in an engineering college and I made maximum use of it. My daily routine was simple:
1. Wake up in the morning and either send or receive messages like :

Morning Coolness,
Rising Sun,
Singing Birds,
Melting Dew,
Along With This
Little Heart
Wishing You A Very
Glorious Good Morning.

2. Go to class and continue messaging

3. Go for lunch.

4. Send/receive messages like :

Give laugh to all but smile to ONE.
Give love to all but heart to ONE.
Give life to all but live for ONE..
Have a cool evening.

5. Continue messaging

6. Continue messaging

7. Send/ Receive messages like:
In this lovely night,
I pray to the sweet moon to protect you through the night,
The wind to blow away your worries,
and,
the twinkle stars to guide you the way,
Sweet dreams and Good Night.

“Who are you messaging at 2 AM da?” Raj, my roomie asked me suddenly.

Taken aback, I stuttered and replied “Not messaging da.. playing a game on the phone.. not getting sleep so just killing time”

“Ooooho.. sounds very convincing.. show me your phone.. I’ll also play the game.. even am unable to sleep”

“Battery low machaan.. got switched off just now.. gonna sleep now..gnite,” I said and immediately deleted my inbox.

There was no way I could tell my friends what I was up to. There are some drawbacks of being a gethu gang member in college - you were not allowed to talk to girls. Friends would first tease you. Then warn you not to trust girls. Then ignore you. Then abuse you. The guys in hostel would think I was some villain and leave me out of their plans. I was not going to let that happen to me.

“Hey.. gotta go now..i’ll be dead if my friends find out i’m messaging a girl so late in the night..don’t ask me why.. thats how these idiots are in hostels :(.. do not reply.. i’ve deleted my inbox.. will msg you tomo.. gnite!” I sent her an SMS before sleeping.

The addiction got worse each day. I ignored food, I ignored sleep, I ignored my studies. All I cared in life was the SMS from her. I succeeded in almost everything - I got to know about her, I got to know about ‘Rahul’, I made her get addicted to her mobile as much as I was to mine. But there were a few questions which I couldn’t find answers to. Firstly, is this love? Secondly, is she an attu figure or good figure? Thirdly, how and when am I going to tell her the truth?

The second question didn’t really matter because I was too addicted to her anyways. The only problems seemed to be the 1st and 3rd questions, and there was only one way I was going to find answers to those - ignore her. Time would solve my confusions, I thought and started ignoring her. Yes, I decided to stop sending or replying to her messages from then on.

It was easier said that done though. My hands would itch to grab the mobile and send her a message - especially when I was sitting bored in a stupid lecture. The first 2-3 days were very extremely difficult. I would get a forward or two from her, which I read and ignored. If the first few days were difficult, the next 2-3 were unbearable.

“Hey.. wassup?”, “Hey..too busy or what? showing off that you are an IIT-an to me eh? Thought you were not one of those nerds? ;)” , “This is why I HATE IIT!”. These were a few messages that I got from her. She would never receive a reply.

A week passed, and it was getting clearer to me that I couldn’t live without her. The first question was answered. Call it love. Cal it friendship. Call it whatever. I wanted to talk to her. But the week also taught me an important thing - that I can’t continue this for long. I HAD to tell her the truth. But how could I suddenly give her such a shock? What if she stops talking to me? What if she goes to the cops? A million questions ran through my mind when my phone beeped.

“Hi.. look I don’t know what happened to you all of a sudden.. its been a while since you contacted me.. I don’t understand why you are avoiding me..but let me tell you one thing.. I don’t think I can be normal without messaging you..I don’t know what else to say.. all I can say is plzzz reply! Miss u :(“

I was happy and sad. I was happy that she missed me. I was sad that I had put her through this. An important question had just been answered. She indeed felt the same way I did. But there was an important and unanswered question. How will she react when I tell her the truth? After all, I was neither Rahul nor an IIT-an. Continue acting - told a part of me. Tell her the truth, said another. I decided not to think. I took my phone, closed my eyes and typed as fast as I could.

“Look Sheela.. I have a confession to make.. I don’t know how to say this. I am not the guy who you think I am. I am not Rahul. My name is Arun Kumar. I do not study in IIT. I am just another engineering student in just another engineering college like you. I realised the very first day you messaged me that I was not the intended recipient but decided to carry on. I know I was being cheap, but I didn’t think it was wrong. It started as a timepass thing but it became much more than that over the weeks.. I dunno if you are fair. I dunno if u r fat. I dunno if u r good looking. I dunno if u r ugly. But I do know that I don’t care. All I care about is YOU. And yes, I do know that I love you. You can choose to swear at me. You can choose to reject me. You can choose to accept me. But please do not choose to ignore me...(i don’t know what smiley to use)..”

I sent the message. I didn’t bother to read it again. My eyes remained close till I heard the next beep.

“Look Arun. I too have a confession to make.. I don’t know how to say this. I am not the girl who you think I am. I am not Sheela. I am Raj - your roomie. Please come immediately to the next room.. all of us are waiting for you :D :D :D”